Whenever I hang out with my brother in Christ, Julian, the hangout inevitably devolves into something goofy that two 22-year olds (or one 22-year old and one who’s nearly 22-years old) really shouldn’t be doing.
Sure, there are a lot of great moments where we’ve had Christ and gospel-centered discussions as well, such as sharing our opinions on topics related to the LGBTQ+ agenda, or our different approaches towards evangelism. Those conversations continue to be a huge part of our friendship, as we are part of a spiritual family in Christ after all, and I’m thankful for them.
The point remains, however, that Julian and I will inevitably be doing something silly that either he or I shouldn’t be doing. Whether it’s free-styling songs during worship karaoke until either one of us (usually me) gets the giggles, or making fun of each other in a gently teasing, but also slightly juvenile way (usually Julian), we devolve into goofy hysterics and have a lot of fun along the way.
Once, when picking up flyers for ICF Welcome Week at the start of semester, I did that thing that I always do whenever I’m confronted with a rectangular-shaped object around the same size and shape of a book: I put it on my head and tried to balance it while walking.
My other friend and sister in Christ, Rainbow, has told me that “I’m not a princess” when I’ve failed to balance, on separate occasions, an orange and a giant water bottle on top of my head (yes, ladies and gents, it’s not just book-shaped items, although those are my kryptonite!). This time, I also failed princess training—not only did the stack of flyers slide off my head and balance itself precariously on my neck, it also threatened to fall off entirely and crush my little toe (Doc Marten boots notwithstanding).
“You could have died! Be more careful, man!” Julian’s eyes are wide as he lets out “whoa” after “whoa”.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” I wave it off, stretching out the “fine” and “worry”. “I’m OK, it’s not anything big.”
“It could have crushed your neck! You could have died!”
“And if I die,” I retort, because this really isn’t that big a deal for me although I appreciate his care and concern. “I’ll be going back home, anyway. So it all works out!”
“Wow.” Now it’s Julian’s turn to stretch out the word. “You’re not wrong.”
And I’m not. I’m not wrong, not at all. I should be taking better care of myself, that’s definitely something I should do. But as Christians, we know that when we pass away and leave this world, we will be reunited with our good, good Father where He is.
Still, there are times where we continue to be fearful of what awaits us after death. There are times where we question God and wonder what will come for us in the afterlife. Though I know that God will provide for us, and that we will be restored with Him and His Kingdom as we leave this earthly realm, there are times when, like Julian, I wrestle with the question of “What comes afterward?”
There are times when, like Julian, I wrestle with the question of “What comes afterward?”
This past January, when Julian was still in Japan, his grandma passed away.
When he shares this with me, there’s guilt in his eyes. He tells me about his shock, about the way that he handled things, how he wishes things could have been different.
“I’d been brushing away requests by my mum to visit my grandma,” he said. “I’m in Japan, right, and I say I’ll do it when I come back. But then my mum tells me that she’s passed away.
“Usually I don’t think much about death. Actually, that’s not true: there used to be some periods in my life where I would think a lot about this topic. Especially at night in bed, right before I went to sleep. But lately I haven’t been thinking too much about death. The news about my grandma did lead me to think about different scenarios when I was on the train in Tokyo.
I’ve settled and become too accustomed to the things on this earth—I just don’t want to leave it.
“I’m scared of the nothingness afterwards,” Julian says, and I agree. Even though we’re Christian, that doesn’t mean that we’re automatically no longer afraid of the “what-if”s.
Paul tells the church in Corinth, in 2 Corinthians 4:18, to rest their eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. He says that what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
In very much the same way, we are called to be at rest in God, to know that even if we can’t see His promises and His divine plan for us, He’s got this. Even though these are things unseen, intangible and non-material, God has redeemed us all with the blood from His son Jesus Christ, and wishes to be reconciled into a restored relationship with Him, if we believe. In the wake of trusting God and what He has prepared for us in the afterlife, we are called to grow in our faith for Him, and within that faith is the peace that comes when we’re no longer afraid of death.
We are called to be at rest in God, to know that even if we can’t see His promises and His divine plan for us, He’s got this.
Aside from being called to grow in his faith and trust for God, and to rest in His promises for us, what happened with his grandma also helped Julian to become more intentional about the way he uses his time.
“I’ve never met my grandpa on my dad’s side before,” he says, “and after what happened, this past Chinese New Year was the first time I asked to meet my grandpa on my dad’s side.
“We grabbed lunch, and it was good.”
Joanna, a past exchange student from the U.S. and one of our sisters in Christ that Julian had been doing ministry and evangelistic work with the past semester, had a hand too in inspiring him to be more intentional with the gospel.
Through Joanna’s modeling and examples, Julian was able to see what it means to let the gospel speak in its full glory, both to believers and to people who have not yet come to know Christ.
Currently, Joanna is working in Aso, Japan, as a missionary who spreads the good news to the people of Aso by offering English classes. Some of the joys of ministry that Joanna has shared with me involve teaching preschoolers English with the help of various hand puppets that her church has on hand (these hand puppets are also excellent for various Vine-making purposes, although Vine no longer exists. Just putting that out there).
While Joanna is no longer physically with us at ICF, her passion and drive for the Great Commission (that is, the instruction of Lord Jesus Christ to go and spread the gospel, to make mature disciples all over the world, who in turn make mature disciples themselves) continues to stay with us. Joanna once told me that one misconception Christians tend to have about the Great Commission is that it’s a special calling reserved only for very godly Christians.
When we think about the Great Commission, we think of setting out to impoverished places where there is a spiritual desert, where the people of God are desperately in need of His children to give help and aid to one another. While this can certainly be the case, and there exists nowadays the continued need for Christians to set out to such places and to give aid both in the physical and spiritual sense, we are all called to carry out the mission of the Great Commission.
We are all called to carry out the mission of the Great Commission.
Joanna’s desire to fulfill the Great Commission showed Julian how we can take up our own responsibility in being intentional with sharing God’s Word with the people around us. When she took the initiative, during the time that she was still with us, to ask people how they felt after the sermons at Sunday church gatherings, she showed us how we can create a space for the gospel to speak to people’s hearts.
In seeing and following Joanna’s example, Julian’s fear of death is transformed, and continues to be transformed into a stronger passion and fuel for evangelism: after all, death can come anytime, and unexpectedly. Instead of being constantly worried about dying at any moment, Julian shared with me how he realized that Christ’s return is coming with urgency. It is, however, “a good kind of urgency”.
“Everytime I get scared about death,” he says, “my faith is refined.”
“When I shared my thoughts and fears on death with Jeremy, one of the fellowship leaders here at ICF, I was pointed towards Scripture and given readings on death.
“That helped me to realize that although Christ’s return is coming, it helps shape the way that we live.
“Are we living in the day or the night? Have we confronted our sin? Have we reminded ourselves that we’re living for God, too, and not just living for ourselves or through our relationships?
Have we reminded ourselves that we’re living for God, too, and not just living for ourselves or through our relationships?
“Thinking about the inevitability of death helps me to be reminded that we live through God’s resources and God’s timing, and we have to be intentional about what we do.”
Being Julian’s co-intern here at Watermark Community Church this past summer has helped me see how intentional he is with letting the gospel speak to people’s hearts.
Not only is his schedule chock-full of one-on-one meetings with friends or fellowship, he’s also always taking the initiative to ask and to learn from others around him their perspective on faith.
(Trust me, friends, it makes being his friend and co-intern difficult sometimes, because most of our meetings are breakfast meetings, sometimes at eight in the morning because we have staff meetings at ten. How does Julian do it? His commute time from the office is twice as long as mine. Try as hard as I can, I am most decidedly not a morning person. At least, not on Tuesdays.)
“With old friends, it’s easy to talk about people and life, and miss talking about the gospel,” Julian says.
“But if we’re intentional about it, it’s possible to talk about our spiritual lives even with non-believers, or the obstacles that are blocking our faith.
“For example, with a brother in Christ—we did a Bible study on Colossians. He’s a new believer, he’s still wrestling with a lot of questions about faith, but it’s so wonderful to be part of his journey of faith.”
Julian is also “social guy” here at the office. What that means is that he’s been organizing a lot of our social events at ICF, such as planning Welcome Week and the outreach activities leading up to our Welcome Party.
(If you see us on campus, come and say hi! We have pancakes, and the fabulous, mouth-watering choice of either pancake syrup or grape jam!)
The board game socials and nature walks at ICF are, most often than not, suggested and planned by Julian as well. Look out, world: now that he’s got his new card game Exploding Kittens, board game socials will be even more of a fun time than usual! (Note: this game doesn’t involve any actual exploding kittens. Otherwise, I would probably be first in line to boycott it.)
The intention behind these socials is to invite other people to get to know Christ through having one-on-one talks, or by inviting them to be part of our community. We want to get to know each other, and have conversations about faith, no matter what that looks like. While we’re having fun, we’re also getting to know the people that we’re having fun with. It’s an opportunity to let the gospel speak to the heart, but in a more casual, relaxed setting.
“I was inspired by my mum,” Julian says, “and how she’s able to evangelize to anyone.
“She once went to the clinic and encountered a lady who couldn’t sleep because her husband was gone. He passed away in the KMB accident last year, the one in Tai Po.
“Of course she felt sad, right? But there’s not much you can do in that kind of situation. All you can do is to pray for her, and share the gospel in the hope that she will come to know God’s love, that she’ll be able to find peace within Him.”
“Sometimes, I look at the people on the train who might not know the gospel,” he says. “And I think about how they might not know God. It inspires me to share the gospel too."
“Sometimes, I look at the people on the train who might not know the gospel,” he says. “And I think about how they might not know God. It inspires me to share the gospel too."
“Each time I commute, I think about and feel the burden of the number of people who don’t yet know Christ’s love for them. They haven’t yet come to see, to feel in their hearts the beauty of the cross. They don’t yet understand that Christ has died and risen just for them, and they don’t yet believe that He is King.”
“Probably more than half of the people on the train don’t know or have a relationship with God yet, and that’s a thought that always enters my mind as I take the train back home, especially when it’s packed full of people.”
“I also appreciate my commute time, because it’s a time to catch up with God. On days where I have a really busy schedule, these long commutes are a way for me to reflect, to think about my day, and to talk to God.
Julian’s favorite animal is the penguin, because although it’s clumsy on land, it’s sleek and refined in the water, and thrives in extreme conditions.
However, when you ask him about it, he might just say that he likes the way they waddle.
It’s a perfectly fine reason; I like the way penguins waddle too. But Julian’s thoughts on the penguin go deeper than just liking the way they waddle, the same way that his thoughts on death go beyond his fear of leaving what he’s become so accustomed and so comfortable with.
“When I’m thinking, I want to think things through until I’m comfortable with what I’m thinking about.
“I get really quiet, and have to internally process until I’m OK with it.
“Without being rooted in the hope of Christ, I worry a lot more.
“Even in the smallest of actions, I’m over-questioning things and worried about whether they’re done right or not. I’m paranoid, I’m not just double but triple-checking traffic lights… I’m also thinking about different cases of potential accidents.”
“But when my hope is rooted in Christ, I learn to be OK with things, such as unfairness or affliction. I’m learning to be OK with what we think isn’t good.
This reminds me too of Julian’s favorite hymn, “It Is Well”.
The composer of the hymn, Horatio Spafford, was a man who was broken and completely helpless after the death of his four daughters. Still, even as he continued to grieve, he proclaimed through this hymn that “it is well”. No matter his lot, whether it’s death or some other form of affliction that he goes through—and he has been through a lot, as he pens the lyrics “though sorrows like sea billows roll”, and “though Satan should buffet, though trials should come”—Spafford says that “Christ has regarded [our] helpless estate”.
No matter what happens, we can trust in God and know that all is well with Him, that He will come back in great triumph and rise us from the dead to relationship with Him.
“There will be a day where brokenness, pain, sadness, and death will be no more!”
“There’s reassurance in knowing that there’s life after death, that there’s life with Christ. It gives me comfort that God made us exactly the way He wanted us to be, and that He placed us in our current circumstances for His reason, no matter how perfect other people seem and how flawed we seem.”
“To me, death now shows both brokenness and beauty. Death might be sad, but in those small snippets of life that point towards heaven, it points towards something that’s more beautiful than what we currently have, which is being able to fully be in fellowship and relationship with God.
“The brokenness in our life is just so abundant and present, but it’s comforting and encouraging to be pointed towards the beauty of heaven.
“It’s what the gospel does and what it’s all about. Even though current circumstances might not be ideal, it reminds us of the promise of eternal life with God, and points us continuously towards that.
“It gives us hope, it reminds us that this isn’t the end. The brokenness points me to the gospel and reminds me that although sin and sorrow are so present in this current world, there will be a day when brokenness is no more! As it says in Revelation, ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
“There will be a day where brokenness, pain, sadness, and death will be no more!”
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